Tue 7 September 2010 5:51 pm

other news:

Excommunicate! Dr Who star in bid for papacy
Actor Christopher Eccleston has expressed an interest in becoming the new Pope [more...]

God fights controversial best-seller
The Almighty speaks out against ridiculous claims made in best-selling book [more...]

Devil arrested in Florida
News of the arrest of Lucifer, Prince of Darkness, chief spirit of evil, adversary of God, tempter of mankind and master of Hell in raid on illegal casino in Florida [more...]

Second Aliens / Sitcom Crossover Film Planned
Following the success of Aliens vs Concert Party Fox and the BBC announce details of Alien in Porridge [more...]

Aliens vs Concert Party Greenlighted
Classic Sci-Fi/BBC comedy crossover given the go-ahead [more...]

Pooh Arrested
More drunken behaviour from the Bear-Of-Very-Little-Brain [more...]

Secrets of Oz Unearthed
Shocking deleted scenes and out-takes from the Wizard of Oz discovered [more...]

War on Earth's Core
President George W Bush declares war on the Earth's core in retaliation for earthquake [more...]

US Military issue set of collectables
Consternation over the US Military's scheme to catch Iraqi war criminals by issuing soldiers with trading cards [more...]

Sad's Army: New Series
Return of the popular series featuring the exploits of the boys of the Republican Home Guard during Gulf War 2 [more...]

Trek Star Speaks!
Interview with Patrick Stewart, taking break from his portrayal of Mekon in forthcoming Hollywood blockbuster [more...]

Not Fair!
Bin Laden in chat show pledge to continue terror [more...]

Royal Family drawn to the Dark Side
Queen reveals that the force is strong with the Duke of Edinburgh [more...]

Plastermind Revisited
Rake the hidden toad [more...]

Countryside Alliance March
Fasten all gates. Keep your dogs under control. Use gates and stiles to cross fences, hedges and walls. Leave livestock, crops and machinery alone. [more...]

Carry on Christ
Film world rocked by discovery of controversial "lost" Carry On film [more...]

Giant Police
Dramatic drop in crime in city centre following the introduction of giant officers [more...]

Priests Strike
Industrial action by the church enters third week; no sign of reconciliation between clergy and God [more...]

Belligerent Ghouls
Manchester headmaster behind bars after allegations made in opening track on album [more...]

The Cost of Meetings
Report reveals that British Industry loses 500,000 working years per annum due to meetings [more...]

SLOW GENETIC MODIFICATION SHOCKER

The country was rocked today by the shock revelation that so called "Slow Genetic Modification" of plants and animals has been going on for millennia behind the public's back.

A spokesperson for Latest Moral Bandwagon said "This is just another example of the elite scientific class playing god. They try to blind us with jargon such as 'Agriculture' and 'Domestication', but the truth is that they have been altering the genetic makeup of animals such as the wolf. Who can tell what the long term consequences will be? Your so-called 'Dog' may look cute but the potential danger to the public is quite clear. I mean, wolves, right?"

"Apparently this goes back to the early stone age, and a shadowy group of eggheads called the Neanderthals."

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