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  Meetings cost British industry £20bn per year A controversial report has revealed that a total of almost a half a million working years are lost through meetings each year. The Confederation of British Industry estimated that meetings cost business over £20 billion annually. The burden is borne by employees and middle management, whilst those who have the most to gain from the situation are the manufacturers of flipcharts, felt tip markers and notepads. Sir Sebastian Dukat, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for the Department of Trade and Monotony added: "Too often meetings mean that a worker is unable to complete his or her workload and inevitably starts the unhappy slide from work into premature apathy and boredom. It is the responsibility of the management and the staff development team to ensuring that the right steps towards restoring productivity are taken from the outset." Lord Damar, Minister for Headaches and co-author of the report added: "There is quite obviously a sinister agenda at work here. The Directors of several leading multinationals have been financially linked to stationery and visual-aid manufacturers on several occasions recently. And quite apart from anything else, the organisation of such meetings helps to foster the illusion that higher management are actually doing some work in order to justify their grossly inflated salaries." The report was initiated by the discovery of a pamphlet entitled "Taking Three Hours to Say Nothing with the Aid of a Powerpoint Presentation" in the briefcase of a prominent industry captain. When asked what initiatives the government would be introducing to combat this malaise, Lord Damar said: "Well, obviously we take this very seriously. I am organising a working party that will be meeting weekly to discuss the problem."  
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