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FOOTBALL SEX BIG BROTHER ROYAL SCANDAL MILK SANDWICH
QUEEN WARNS BURRELL OF THE POWER OF THE "DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE"Ex royal butler Paul Burrell today revealed that during his meeting with the Queen at Highgrove she warned him that his closeness to Princess Diana exposed him to potential harm from "the Dark Side of the Force". "When I questioned her further, all she would reveal was that the Force was an energy field created by all living things, which surrounds us and penetrates us and binds the galaxy together," says Burrell, "She did not quantify this, but told me to beware the Sith." These revelations come hot on the heels of the news that Princess Diana passed the plans of the "Death Star" to Burrell for safe keeping, and that he had not, after all, stolen them. "Diana told me that if anything happened to her, I had to deliver the plans to someone known only as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and on no account let them fall into the hands of Darth Edinburgh."
Since these startling revelations the Palace has been characteristically tight-lipped, although it is reported that Prince Charles has taken an extended holiday to the Dagobah System, where it is believed he will study the Force under Jedi Master Yoda, after which it is believed he will challenge the Duke of Edinburgh to a "Light Sabre" duel.
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